The high need baby is a baby who has a high need for attention and care of the parents, especially the mother. He needs a lap every time, since he is born, he cries a lot and wants to nurse every hour and not sleep more than 45 minutes in a row.
The description of the characteristics of the baby of high need was made by the pediatrician William Sears after observing the behavior of his youngest son, who was very different from the older brothers. However, these characteristics can not be described as being a disease or a syndrome, being only one type of personality of the child.
Characteristics of baby high need
The baby who has a high need for attention and care has the following characteristics:
- It cries a lot: The crying is loud and strong and can last practically all day, with small intervals of 20 to 30 minutes. It is common for parents to initially think that the baby is suffering from some disease, because crying seems inconsolable, which leads to many pediatricians and tests, and all results are normal.
- Sleeping little: Usually this baby does not sleep more than 45 minutes in a row and always wake up crying, needing a lap to calm down. Techniques like 'let crying' to stop do not work because the baby does not stop crying even after more than 1 hour and studies prove that excessive crying can cause brain damage in addition to leaving marks on the child's personality, such as insecurity and mistrust .
- Muscles always contracted: Although the baby is not crying, it is possible that his body tone is very intense, which indicates that the muscles are always rigid and have their hands closed tightly, showing their dissatisfaction and desire to get rid of something, as if they were always ready to flee. Some babies seem to like being wrapped in a blanket, which lightly presses their body, while others simply do not support this type of approach.
- It sucks parents' energy: Caring for a baby with a high need is very tiring because they seem to suck out all of the mother's energy, needing mindfulness most days. The most common is that the mother can not get away from the baby for more than half an hour, having to be to change the diaper, give the food, put to sleep, calm the cry, play and everything that is needed to take care of a baby. No one else seems to be able to meet the need for a high-need baby.
- Eat a lot: the baby with high need seems like he is always hungry and dissatisfied, but because they spend so much energy, they do not even get too overweight. This baby likes to breastfeed and does not use the mother's milk to nourish her body, but also her emotions, so the feedings are prolonged and the baby likes to be breastfed, making it possible to stay in that comfortable position where he feels protected and loved, for much longer than normal, like that hourly.
- It's hard to calm down and never calms down: A common complaint from parents with high-need babies is that the techniques that have calmed you down today may not work tomorrow, and you need to take every kind of strategy to calm the crying baby, such as walking with him on his lap, on the cart, singing lullabies, pacifiers, betting on skin-to-skin contact, putting on breastfeeding, turning off the light.
Having a baby with a high need requires a lot of dedication from the parents, and the most common thing is that the mother feels frustrated and thinks she does not know how to take care of her baby, since he always wants more and more, attention, eating and even if she does everything for him, nevertheless, can always seem very dissatisfied.
How to care for a baby with high need
The best way to comfort a baby with high need is to take time for it. Ideally, the mother should not work outside the home and should be able to count on the help of her father or other people to share tasks other than babysitting, cleaning the house, shopping, or cooking.
The father can also be present in the child's daily life and it is normal that as the baby grows, he becomes accustomed to the idea that there is not only the mother in his life.
How is the development of baby high need
The psychomotor development of the baby's high need is normal and within expected, so by 1 year should start walking and at 2 years can start to join two words forming a 'phrase'.
As the child begins to communicate by pointing to objects or crawling toward objects, which happens around 6 to 8 months, parents can better understand what the baby needs, making daily care easier. And when that child starts talking around the age of two, it becomes easier to understand what she wants because she can verbalize exactly what she is feeling and what she needs.
How is the mother's health?
The mother usually gets very tired, overwhelmed, with dark circles and little time to rest and take care of herself. Feelings like anxiety are common especially in the first months of the baby's life or until the pediatrician reaches the diagnosis that the child has a high need.
But over the years the child learns to be distracted and entertained with the others and the mother no longer becomes the center of attention. At this stage it is common for the mother to need psychological counseling because it is possible that she is so accustomed to living exclusively for the high need child that it may be difficult to move away from her, even if it is for her to enter kindergarten.
